Mikey Way Online

This is the only thing I’m posting right now because, well, this is hilarious. However, it’s pretty mature so it’s going behind a cut.

*gasp* Johnnie put something behind a cut?

Yeah, man, it’s that bad.

It’s an interview with My Chemical Romance probably around 2002 [2004, Johnnie needs to learn math.] but don’t hold me to that. Matt’s still in the band and Ray wasn’t there with them for whatever reason.

The reason this is going behind a cut is because the interview was done for a porn DVD and there’s some sexual references in it so if someone’s not comfortable with that, then you don’t have to see it.

There’s a video and I’ve written out the whole thing. The written part may or may not be totally correct but it’ll give you the jist of it anyhow.

The safe bits? Gerard likes Dungeons and Dragons and Frank can’t stand it. There’s three guys that like D&D out of the nine that are touring in the van. And Gerard’s wish of having an “intercut” comes true.

My Chemical Romance “Burning Angel” interview

Interviewer: Here we have My Chemical Romance. Everybody, can you just state your names and say what you play?

Gerard: Um, sure. I’m Gerard. I sing.

Frank: I’m Frank. I play guitar.

Matt: I’m Matt. I play drums.

Mikey: I’m Mikey. I play bass.

Interviewer: Now, how long have you guys been a band for?

Gerard: We’ve been a band for….we’ve been a band for two years, um, in January, so I guess it’s a little over that now. So, wow, it’s two and a half years, almost.

Interviewer: Um, you guys are signed to a bigger label?

Gerard: We signed to Reprise.

Frank: Yeah, Reprise.

Interviewer: I know you guys have been on tour for a really long time and you guys are going to be on tour for another really long on time. I don’t know if you guys have any stories from tour, if you go to any strip clubs or anything while you’re on the road?

Gerard: Yeah, there’s really not any stories as far as stuff like that because we’re not a Motley Crue-ish type band like that.

Interviewer: Do you want to be like a Motely Crue type band? Are you heading in that direction?

Gerard: I think we want to play a lot of video games and collect a lot of toys.

Mikey: We wanna roll u Dungeon and Dragon characters.

Gerard: We really wanna play Dungeon and Dragons really bad, and we can’t get a group together. I mean, you’d think you’d have seven, eight–well, we have nine in the van now–guys, you can get a really good game going but not everybody is into Dungeon and Dragons.

Frank: Let’s just get this straight, alright, first off, three members like Dungeon and Dragons.

Interviewer: Are you one of them?

Frank: I watched the cartoon when I was young and then that’s about it. No, I don’t go on quests. That’s more of a Gerard thing.

Gerard: I paint little Orcs. That’s really weird…especially if you’re a 27 year old…I have a hobbit sword.

Interviewer: Do you guys watch porn?

Gerard: I mean, like, Ray watches it, too.

Frank: Ray loves porn.

Gerard: We like porn. I mean, porn’s cool.

Interviewer: What about you? You’re not off the hook, do you watch porn?

Frank: Uhh, yeah, of course–I mean–I don’t–who doesn’t like porn, though? I mean, you know?

Interviewer: Do you have a favorite porn star or anything?

Gerard: Uuuuummm, I know quite a few porn star names, um, I’m more of a fan of the Score magazine variety girls or maybe the more naturally endowed girl, like on the–

Interviewer: Oh, so would you like a website like Burning Angel where more of the girls are natural like real girls like you could’ve seen interviewing your band or a show or anything?

Gerard: Yeah, I’m more into people that look real. The people I like, I’ve even dated throughout my life, they’re real.

Interviewer: They’re not blow-up dolls or anything?

Gerard: No, they’re people that look…none of them have ever looked alike. I usually try to find, like…I like somebody that’s really beautiful for being unique, you know what I mean? That’s why, like, sites like yours, when it’s real people, it’s obviously a lot cooler that’s a porn star that makes a lot of money and hangs out by pools in Hollywood and stuff like that.

Interviewer: You’re on on a DVD right now. People are going to be watching this interview between a bunch of sex scenes; people are going to be banging and then this interview is going to come up. So there might be a guy on the other side of the screen that just finished jerking off and now you’re interview’s coming on. Do you have anything to say to these people?

Gerard: Ummmm…..you’re mom’s comin’!

Frank: You should be ashamed of yourself.

Gerard: What I think you guys should do is….intercut it….but like, right before–

Interviewer: –right before the money shot there’s just, “So, we like Dungeons and Dragons!”

Gerard: Yes, yes.

Interviewer: Okay, is there anything else anybody has to say? Anything you want to add?

Gerard: I think we’ve dug a giant hole and we all jumped fuckin’ headfirst in it at this point…no, it was really fun, I’m just playing around. Um, no, I just….um…keep doin’ your thang, man!

Interviewer: Okay, thanks, Everybody wave bye.

Gerard: Buh-bye!

[band waves]

– scene cuts –

Gerard: Not everybody’s into Dungeon and Dragons.